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  • 作家相片Chen Yun

致曾經 "To Those Who Once Were"

是社會 讓我知道我不是小孩子了 是身體 讓我知道我已經不年輕了 是經歷 讓我知道我其實無力改變什麼 但總是學不會放下 這真的是好難好難的事 對自己的認知似乎一直停留在孩童時期 一路不斷的追著歲月跑 強迫學習當個大人 強迫學習接受自己的年老 強迫學習接受這些悲歡離合無力改變的現況 一直都不是自己去做了什麼 而是被生活推到了當下 從來都不是我要什麼 而是我不要什麼才決定了人生的軌跡 我失去過愛 也又擁有了愛 我珍惜善緣 但明白它們終將都會離去 最後只剰在某個時刻會在我的回憶裡乍現 就那麼片刻讓它們 溫暖了心 或者是 刺痛了心 日子就這麼依舊 直到最後換我的離去 願來世成為一株小草 風吹搖曳 日曬雨淋 無牽無掛 最後滋養大地 生命不需要努力 只要平凡 若幸運的話 找到那麼一件自己喜歡的事 然後不顧一切不計後果的 將自己投身其中讓火燄將自己燃燒怠盡 敬早己離開以及即將離開我的朋友們 敬那些曾經 It was society that made me realize I am no longer a child, It was my body that made me aware I am no longer young, It was experience that showed me I actually have no power to change anything, Yet I still can't learn to let go. It's truly such a difficult, difficult thing. My self-awareness seems to have always remained in childhood, Chasing after time without stopping, Forcing myself to learn to be an adult, Forcing myself to accept my aging, Forcing myself to accept these situations of helplessness in joy and sorrow, It has never been about what I have done, But rather life pushing me to the present moment. It has never been about what I want, But rather what I don't want that has decided the course of my life. I have lost love and found love again, I cherish good relationships, but understand they will all eventually leave. In the end, they only briefly appear in my memories at certain moments, Just that moment to warm my heart or to pierce it. Days continue like this until finally it's my turn to leave. May the next life be like a blade of grass, Swaying in the wind, basking in the sun and rain, carefree. In the end, nourishing the earth, Life doesn't need effort, just simplicity. If fortunate, Find something you love, And then throw yourself into it regardless of consequences, Let the flames consume you completely.

To those who have departed and those about to depart from my life, and to those who once were

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爸爸。Father.

平靜的送走了爸爸 了無遺憾的 我以為 爸爸走後第三年 我開始想起爸爸時會流淚 爸爸走後第五年 我第一次站在他的墳前 泣不成聲 我是個如此倔強又如此脆弱又如此悲痛的女兒 原來這就是思念 Quietly bidding farewell to my father, Without any regrets, I thought. After three years since his departure

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